The Monkey's Cult

Cult HQ · Chapter 3 of 13

The Monkey's Credits

2 exercises from this chapter, word for word from the book, with space to fill in your answers.

Your route

This chapter on each route

  • Quick WinExercise 12-13 (Today): One day tracking
  • EssentialExercise 12-13 (Week): 7-day tracking
  • Deep DiveExercise 12-13 (Full): Month tracking
  1. Exercise 12 The Daily Monkey's Credit Budget
  2. Exercise 13 The Monkey’s Exchange Rate Exercise

Exercise 12

The Daily Monkey's Credit Budget

  • Quick WinOne day tracking
  • Essential7-day tracking
  • Deep DiveMonth tracking

Not on your route.

Duration: 1-5 minute intervals throughout the day then 30-45 minutes Materials: notebook, favourite pen, 100 credits

Step 1: Your Morning Monkey's Credit Check

We will be using our 100 daily Monkey's Credits we introduced in Chapter 1? Now let's see how effectively you're spending them by using our Monkey's-Worthy Scale.

  1. Start your day with 100 credits
  2. Throughout the day, each time you give a Monkey's about something:
    • Rate it on the Monkey's Worthy Scale (1 to 5)
    • Record how many Credits you actually spent on it

The Official Monkey's Worthy Scale:

This is a standard used throughout the book - the full description for each can be found in Exercise 1: The Official Monkey’s-Worthy Assessment Tool.

Not Worth a Monkey's Uncle

(1)

(2)

(3)

(4)

(5)

Prime Monkey's-Worthy

This helps you translate the scale into the range of Credits.

Monkey’s Worthy

Recommended Credit Allocation

5. Prime Monkey’s-Worthy

20-30 Credits

4. Worth a Proper Monkey’s

10-20 Credits

3. Moderately Monkey’s-Worthy

5-10 Credits

2.Barely Worth a Baby Monkey’s

1-5 Credits

1. Not

0 Credits


Step 2: The Monkey’s Audit

At the end of the day, review your Monkey's expenditure:

  • Where did most of your credits go?
  • Were there any unexpected emotional impulse purchases?
  • Did you get good value for your monkey's investment?

Example:

Morning

Credits

Afternoon

Credits

Evening

Credits

Worrying about that weird noise the car's making

15

Getting wound up about lunch queue jumpers

5

Panic about tomorrow's presentation

25

Stressing about running late

10

Overthinking a colleague's "tone" in an email

25

Fretting over a typo in an important email

20

Total

45

Total

30

Total

25

Total: 100 credits - EVERY DROP USED UP!

Now, let's look at how this might play out for people in different life situations:

For someone like Tariq, juggling three gig economy jobs, the Monkey's drain comes not just from the work itself but from the constant mental switching and uncertainty:

Morning

Credits

Afternoon

Credits

Evening

Credits

Worrying about a poor review on delivery app

15

Stress about not meeting ride quota

20

Anxiety over tomorrow's changing schedule

15

Frustration at cancelled food delivery order

10

Racing to switch between platform apps

15

Mental scheduling for multiple gigs

10

Calculating if today's earnings will cover bills

10

Worry about car maintenance costs

5

Comparing earnings to last week

10

Total

35

Total

40

Total

35

Daily Total: 110 credits - OVERDRAWN!

After tracking his Credits for a week, Tariq realised he was spending nearly 20 Credits daily just on earnings calculations and platform comparison. emotional energy that could be better invested elsewhere. He created a simple spreadsheet that automatically calculated his daily targets and scheduled fixed times to check app metrics, saving himself from the monkey-draining cycle of constant checking and worrying. By batching similar tasks across platforms, he reduced the mental load of context-switching and saved approximately 30 Monkey's Credits daily, enough to start an online course that might lead to more stable employment.

For Lynn, who's caring for her father with Parkinson's while working full-time, Monkey's Credits aren't just depleted, they're in severe overdraft:

Morning

Credits

Afternoon

Credits

Evening

Credits

Worry about Dad's medication schedule

15

Guilt over missing work to attend Dad's appointment

20

Anxiety about tomorrow's care arrangements

15

Stress from urgent work emails during care duties

10

Frustration explaining care needs to new doctor

15

Exhaustion from emotional labour of caregiving

20

Rushing morning routine to help with breakfast

10

Navigating insurance paperwork

15

Feeling overwhelmed by house chores

10

Total

35

Total

50

Total

45

Daily Total: 130 credits - SEVERELY OVERDRAWN!

Her tracking revealed she was spending nearly 30 Credits daily on guilt alone. guilt for not being a "good enough" daughter, employee, or friend. After analysing her Monkey's spending, she made two critical changes: First, she stopped giving Monkey's Credits to hypothetical judgments from others about her caregiving choices. Second, she created a "bare minimum" list for high-stress days that prioritised only essential care tasks. She also scheduled one 20-minute "worry window" per day rather than letting anxiety consume her throughout the day. These simple adjustments didn't change her caregiving responsibilities, but they significantly reduced the Monkey's Drain, allowing her to be more present both for her father and herself.

For Alex, who is autistic, social interactions that others find energising often result in significant Monkey's Credit expenditure:

Morning

Credits

Afternoon

Credits

Evening

Credits

Anxiety about unexpected office birthday gathering

25

Processing sensory overload from noisy lunch area

20

Replaying social interactions for "mistakes"

25

Stress from unplanned change to meeting schedule

15

Energy spent masking during client presentation

25

Exhaustion from navigating social expectations

15

Frustration understanding unwritten social rules

10

Difficulty transitioning between tasks

10

Worry about appearing "odd" to colleagues

10

Total

50

Total

55

Total

50

Daily Total: 155 credits - SEVERELY OVERDRAWN!

Their tracking revealed they were spending up to 50 Credits daily just on "masking", suppressing stimming behaviours and trying to maintain expected facial expressions and eye contact. After analysing these patterns, Alex developed several Credit-saving strategies: Using noise-cancelling headphones during lunch breaks, requesting meeting agendas in advance to prepare for social interactions, and scheduling 15-minute "decompression breaks" between social activities. Most importantly, Alex identified which colleagues created a "Monkey's Conservation Areas ", people with whom they could be more authentically themselves without heavy masking. By being more selective about where and with whom they spent their social Monkey's Credits, Alex reduced their daily Credit expenditure by nearly half, leaving energy for projects and relationships that truly mattered to them.


Step 3: The Value Assessment

For each emotional expense, ask yourself:

  • Was it worth the credits spent?
  • Could you have got the same result with less Monkey's investment?
  • Would these credits have been better spent elsewhere?

Example:

Reason for Monkey’s Given

Credits Given

Was it worth the credits spent?

Could you have got the same result with less Monkey's investment?

Would these credits have been better spent elsewhere?

Worrying about that weird noise the car's making

15

Not unless it led to taking action

Yes

Let’s credits spend and action taken to check would reduce need to use further monkey’s

Stressing about running late

10

No

Yes

Yes

Fretting over a typo in an important email

20

No

Yes

Yes

The Reality Check

If you find yourself constantly overdrawn on your weekly Monkey's Credits by Tuesday, it might be time to:

  • Declare Monkey’s bankruptcy and start fresh.
  • Restructure your caring commitments.
  • Invest in some high-yield activities that actually matter.

As a reminder for potential Monkey's Cult members, your Credits aren't like your local Co-op loyalty card. When they're gone, they're gone.

Exercise 13

The Monkey’s Exchange Rate Exercise

  • Quick WinOne day tracking
  • Essential7-day tracking
  • Deep DiveOne month tracking

Not on your route.

Duration: 30-60 minutes Materials: notebook, favourite pen

Step 1: The Power Grid Mapping

Create your personal Monkey’s Exchange Rate chart. Think of it like those cards at the Post Office showing holiday money exchange rates, except this one shows how much Monkey’s you gain or lose in different situations.

The Official Monkey’s Exchange Rate System:

Just like the official Monkey’s Worthy Scale this rating system is a 1 to 5 scale, I’ve used different terms simply to help you distinguish between the two and prevent you from mixing the systems.

Double Plus (++):

Gives you more energy than finding an extra chip at the bottom of the bag

Plus (+):

Adds a spring to your step

Neutral (=):

Neither draining nor energising, like a Tuesday afternoon

Minus (-):

Slightly draining, like small-talk with the chatty neighbour

Double Minus (--):

As emotionally expensive as a round of drinks in central London


Step 2: The Monkey’s Audit Challenge

For this to be beneficial it's better to do this for at least a week but if you’re a true champion of patients do this for the full 4 weeks and you will be able to gain a far more representative average and find your extremes more clearly. (for the 4 week version repeat 4 times of the 7 day audit challenge).

Day 1 to 7: Track Every Interaction. Create a simple chart:

Note: also add a copy of each of these templates at the back of the book or as a download on the website, or both.

Day

Time

Action

Monday

8 am

Morning coffee with Sarah (++)

Laughed about weekend disasters

Made plans for hiking

Left feeling energised

11 am

Team meeting (-)

Dave dominated the conversation again

Karen complained about everything

Lost will to live slightly

2 pm

Lunch break alone reading (++)

Peaceful

No small talk

Battery recharged

5 pm

Phone call with mum (=)

Updated about family drama

Discussed weekend plans

Emotionally neutral

Tuesday


Step 3: The Monkey’s Investment Portfolio

After a week or a month of tracking, categorise your regular activities and relationships into these investment types:

Reliable Monkey’s Gainers

  • Activities that consistently boost your spirits
  • People who leave you feeling better than they found you
  • Places that recharge you faster than a phone on quick-charge

Mixed Experiences

  • Social events that could go either way
  • Friends who are brilliant but intense
  • Activities that are worth it, but take it out of you

Consistent Monkey’s Drainers

  • People who treat you like their personal therapist
  • Activities that leave you feeling like you've run a marathon in wellies
  • Situations that make you wish you'd stayed in bed

Once this is done, let's move on to…


The Monkey's Management Strategy Game

This is split into 3 rounds.

Round 1: The Monkey’s Budget Create your ideal weekly schedule balancing:

  • Must-do activities (work, essential commitments)
  • Energy boosters (your reliable positives)
  • Recovery periods (your emotional rest stops)

Round 2: Now revisit the plan you have just made above and alter it with the following in mind. Plan your monkey’s draining activities like you're planning a military operation:

  1. Schedule them when your energy is naturally higher
  2. Sandwich them between recharging activities
  3. Have an escape plan (like that fake phone call you've been practising)

Round 3: The Protection Plan Create your personal Monkey’s protection strategies:

  • The "Sorry, I'm washing my hair" excuse bank for non-essential draining activities
  • The "Let me think about it" delay tactic for unexpected emotional demands
  • The "That sounds like a you problem" boundary setting phrase collection

The Emergency Recharge Protocol

As well as the standard protection plan, try to create a few protocols in case of Monkey's emergencies. This is for when your Monkey’s are running lower than your phone at a festival.

Quick fixes for Monkey's emergencies:

  1. The Power Nap of Social Interaction
    • Take a tactical timeout
    • Implement the "do not disturb" mode in real life
    • Find your quiet corner (everyone needs a hiding spot)
  2. The Rapid Recharge
    • Engage in guaranteed mood boosters
    • Access your emergency joy stash
    • Deploy the emergency cat videos
  3. The Energy Shield
    • Activate your "not today" force field
    • Employ the strategic vagueness technique
    • Become skilled at being busy

Keep an "Emergency Joy" folder, your joy stash, on your phone filled with things that reliably make you smile, like that video of your friend's dog chasing its own tail, or screenshots of particularly ridiculous autocorrect fails.

And most importantly you should remember that all of these exercises are designed to help you build a better you. If you invest too many Monkey's worrying about if you are doing this correctly or not you need to stop and reboot because you've lost your way and you need to grab for that happy place.

Maybe after you have you can add this place to your emergency joy folder for next time it happens and build from there. This isn't a sprint, it won't happen overnight so don't even try.

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